Back Rubs

Found here

There's something so amazingly comforting to me about having my back rubbed. I love when Collin gently rubs my back just as a sign that he loves me. It does make me feel incredibly loved. I don't know what it is about that particular action that just warms me and comforts me. Perhaps it stems from my childhood from when I would lay on the couch with my mom. Mom would be watching tv and I'd lay down with my head in her lap and she'd just rub my back. I felt so safe and secure laying there with Mom rubbing my back. Or maybe it's just because it feels so nice to have your back rubbed. But let me tell you, this morning when the alarm went off, Collin reached over and started rubbing my back and I lay there feeling like the most precious girl in the world to have a husband who would be so sweet first thing in the morning. Until he started rubbing in rhythm to the music. I have no idea what it was about him rubbing my back rhythmically but it drove me CRAZY. I guess because it became not so much an act of love but more an act of his creative expression? I don't know, but it certainly got me out of bed. Not quite in the great mood I was in, but it woke me up. At least he was being sweet, right? That's how I'm looking at it now. I may have gotten upset about it then but he was being sweet and just trying to wake me up. Golly I'm blessed to have such a thoughtful husband!

Cindy

Resolutions are Hard

Here's the thing. Everyone always talks about their New Year's Resolutions and they make all these grandiose plans of things they want to change, weight they want to lose, things they want to add and they always fail. Or maybe not always but more often than not. It's as if we're all just setting ourselves up for failure. I don't like making a New Year's Resolution for that very reason. However, I do think it's important to have resolutions, to have things that you need (and want) to change about yourself. It's important to always be striving to make yourself a better person, always be striving to be more Christ-like. I just think it's kinda silly to put so much importance into trying to achieve your goals at the beginning of a year instead of starting it whenever.

That's why this is hard for me to write about. I have things about myself that I need and want to change. Things to make me a better person. But I feel so hypocritical doing it now, at the beginning of the new year. I suppose these aren't necessarily new things I'm striving for, I've been struggling with these for a while, but I'm just now really heavy-hearted about it.

I want to be a better person. I need to be a better person. For myself, for Collin, and most importantly for God. There are a few things I struggle with. I tell myself all the time that I'm going to do it, I'm going to succeed this time but then I end up failing and I get frustrated and think to myself that I can't do it anymore, that once I've failed that's it, there's no way I can do this. I look at myself as a failure and a loser because I can't seem to get the simplest thing right. I've said many times "I'm going to work out regularly to get in shape." But then I exercise three times in a row and I miss a day. Well, missing that one day just completely changes my attitude about the whole thing and it's easier and easier to miss more and more days. And so it's been 2 weeks since the last time I exercised and I feel like a failure. I think to myself, "why try again? I'm just going to keep messing up and I'm never going to get the results I want." This is a horrible attitude! It is not the attitude I should have. Everyone fails. I know that in the back of my head but I don't really feel it in my heart. It's so personal to me. I hate being a failure and it's much easier for me to just not exercise at all than to say I'm going to and not do it.
2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,
whenever you face trials of many kinds,
3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.
4 Let perseverance finish its work so that
you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.
James 1 (NIV)
Thank God for His word. I read this passage yesterday and it hit me that this is what I need to be focusing on. I need to be focusing on the joy of my failures; the joy of my trials so that I can develop perseverance. Right now by giving up and thinking that I can't ever achieve my goals I'm dishonoring God. I'm not being very mature and I certainly am only relying on myself to achieve these goals. And that's just silly since I know I can't do anything on my own. However, I can do anything with Christ on my side (Philippians 4:13). What I really need to achieve my goals is an attitude change!

So from now on, it's me and God doing these things. I know that I'll still fail, I am human after all, but with God's help I can pick myself back up again and I'll reach my goals. It won't be easy, I also know that, which is why it takes perseverance and patience. At least this will be a growing and learning opportunity!
3 We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials,
for we know that they help us develop endurance.
4 And endurance develops strength of character,
and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation.
5 And this hope will not lead to disappointment.
For we know how dearly God loves us,
because he has given us the Holy Spirit
to fill our hearts with his love.
Romans 5 (NLT)
From now on God and I are going to work on me. Together we are going to change my attitude and I'm going to achieve my goals. I'm going to be a better wife. I will treat Collin with all the respect he deserves, even when I'm upset. I will exercise regularly and get myself into shape. I will look at all things in a positive way and bring joy to everything I do. I will wake up each morning ready to get out of bed. So here goes nothing. Pray for me to not get discouraged and quit when I fail. I know that when I have achieved these things I will be a much happier and better person.

Cindy

A Glimpse of 2010

I must say 2010 was a wonderful year. There were lots and lots of awesome things that happened! Most notably of course would be my wedding to my most wonderful husband, Collin! I will look back at 2010 and always remember with fondness the precious memories that were made. It was not all without hardships but in the grand scheme of things none of that matters. Here's to hoping that 2011 will be even better filled with more blessings than I could ever imagine!

Enjoy a small glimpse of my 2010!

On April 24 I married my best friend and became Mrs. Collin Pastorius and I could not be happier! This marriage is the best thing to ever happen to me and I keep falling more and more in love every day!




For our honeymoon we traveled to Atlantic Beach, NC for a few days. We unfortunately couldn't go on our Mexican Riviera trip we had planned due to unforeseen circumstances that came up. We decided that in order to save as much money as possible we'd do a shorter and closer trip. However, it was such a wonderful and relaxing 4 days! Collin grew up in Havelock which is about 30 mins from the beach so he had lots of fun showing me around the area. And we got to go mini golfing, go to the aquarium, eat at Sonic, and just enjoy our first few days of married life. It was quite chilly and windy while we were there so we unfortunately only got to go to the beach for about an hour one afternoon and we didn't get in the water; we played in the sand and it was fun! That trip was simply wonderful.




Since we didn't get to take a "real" honeymoon my cousin and her husband sent us on a Disney cruise to the Bahamas in September and that was the most amazing trip! Neither of us had ever been on a cruise before and we LOVED it. We did nothing but relax. It was a much needed break from the hectic-ness of the previous several months and we came back completely refreshed and in love. We traveled down to Florida a few days early before the cruise and actually spent some time in Orlando which was really nice as well. It was such a great experience and trip. We will definitely be cruising again.



Collin and I both grew up with pets. I had a couple dogs and several cats throughout my childhood (my parents still have 3 cats now) and Collin had a dog and several cats (his parents still have 2) so it was only natural that we would want pets. When Collin moved into our town home before the wedding he ended up taking one of the cats from his parent's. He was practically Collin's cat anyway. Stank seemed to love being with us but he seemed a bit lonely so we toyed with the idea of adopting a new cat to keep him company. We would go to the adoption days at Petco almost every week and just look and see what was there. And one day we went and saw this beautiful black cat with the sweetest disposition. We adopted her right then and there and that's how we got our Shadow.




In October my baby sister got married! It was a beautiful day and I was so excited and happy for her to finally be marrying Tim. They'd been together for 4 years and were so ready for this next step in their relationship. It was a blessing to be able to share in her special day.


There are of course some other things that happened that I don't really have photos for but have impacted me in a big way this year. First of all, I moved out of my parent's house. Granted I didn't live there when I was in college, but I never really lived "on my own" per se. I always lived on campus in college and I would go home on breaks and then I eventually moved back home after graduation. It was scary, but also really exciting to finally be independent. And what a better person to become independent with than my best friend and husband. It's been fun figuring out all the little things that make having a home successful. I like being a housewife and as I've mentioned before, if I could, I'd make that my full time job! And something that goes along with moving out, I began cooking. My mom is such a great cook I didn't really have a need to make my own meals. Of course there were the rare occasions when I would have to prepare something for just myself or for me and Collin but that was usually a really simple microwave type meal or macaroni and cheese. Even though I don't really like to cook it's a necessary evil in my life and I've begun cooking more and actually enjoying it on occasion. This is HUGE for me and I know that if I was more prepared (as I've also mentioned before) I would actually enjoy cooking more. And I've always known I enjoy baking but just within the past several months I've come to realize that I love baking. I love sweets and so it's only natural for me to enjoy making things I love. But baking is so therapeutic and fun!

Another milestone for me would have to be that I've not only been singing on the praise band but I've been playing keyboards too. Every once in a while I would fill in for the piano player if for some reason he wasn't able to be at practice or there on a Sunday but really I was just a singer. Then we went to a worship leader's conference and saw how integral a keyboard (in addition to a piano) can be. What texture and warmth it can bring to songs. We finally decided to add a keyboard and I've been having a lot of fun figuring out what to play and what sounds to use to add to the songs. I've definitely become a better player because of all of this, more confident and adventurous. But the biggest accomplishment I think is that I don't get nervous playing anymore! I still get a bit nervous if I'm playing a solo piano piece but playing in the band doesn't bother me. It's the most wonderful feeling for me to actually enjoy playing in front of everyone. And I can sing and play and do just fine. I never thought that would be something I could do. And I guess it's really not something I can do, at least not by myself. And so it's been great working with God to be able to be at this stage of my worship leading.

So as you can see 2010 was a great year! I'm so grateful for all the many blessings that God gave me. I hope that your year was just as much a blessing as mine. If you wrote a 2010 review post, leave the link. I'd love to read about it!

Here's to a joyful and blessed 2011!

Cindy

Happy 2011!

Collin and I rang in the new year separate. As is evidenced in the picture above, Collin was in his best friend's wedding on New Year's Day and so of course the bachelor party was the night before. I was sad not to be with my husband on our first New Year's Eve together as a married couple, but I was glad I got to spend some time with his parents and brothers.

The wedding was beautiful! It was awesome to watch Chris and Bev (finally) get married! They'd been together for almost 8 years! I'm so excited for them to experience and celebrate all that marriage has to offer. It's been fun being one of the first of our friends to get married because we appreciate weddings more now knowing what it's like and what the couple has to come before them! The ceremony was very short, but it was beautiful. The pastor said some very touching things that made me fall even more in love with Collin just hearing them and being reminded of what marriage is all about.

For the reception since Collin was at the head table I sat with Collin's parents and some people from Chris and Bev's church. The tables were set up so nicely. They had a delicious fruit bowl at each seat and the centerpieces were very contemporary and fun.

The room where everything took place was absolutely elegant and had the most gorgeous chandelier. And behind the head table was a mirror almost as long as the wall. It was a really neat set up with the tables surrounding the dance floor.

Beverly is a pastry chef by trade and so she makes wedding cakes all the time. She actually made her own wedding cake! The cake they had displayed was not actually edible, she made it just for show and baked 3 sheet cakes to be served that were delicious!! But the cake she decorated was incredible! Bev is VERY talented. She actually made our wedding cake which was awesome as well!

I unfortunately don't have any photos of Chris and Bev. For some reason my camera wouldn't take good pictures in the banquet room unless I was really close to the subject so none of my pictures of them turned out well. I'm disappointed but let me tell you, Bev was a beautiful bride! And she had the most incredible shoes. Their colors were black and red and her shoes were black and red lace. They were amazingly delicious!

I'm so excited for Chris and Bev and I can't wait for them to get back from their honeymoon cruise to hear all about it! It was truly a great way to ring in 2011!

How did you ring in 2011? Did you do anything exciting and fun or were you more of a homebody just watching the ball drop from the comfort of your couch? I'll be posting a bit of a recap from 2010 tomorrow, it was a good year!!

Cindy